March 16, 2021 Tails of Irony

The Liberty Gazette

March 16, 2021

Ely Air Lines

By Mike Ely and Linda Street-Ely

Mike: I have plenty more snow-blown tales to tell, but they can wait until next year. Our two weeks of winter seems to be over. Meanwhile, as we hope for a return to normal in airline travel, let’s discuss some do’s and don’ts. In short, do consider whether all your carry-ons are necessary and appropriate, and don’t abuse privileges or take advantage of animals. I’ll explain.

When Mikhail Galin bought a ticket for a flight on Russian airliner Aeroflot, he assumed his cat, Viktor, could ride along on his lap. The pair had a layover in Moscow on their way from Latvia to far eastern Vladivostok where the airline denied cabin seating to Viktor because the cat was too fat. He weighed 22 pounds, and the limit is 17 pounds. But Mikhail was determined to find a way, and with some quick thinking, he concocted a plan. He found a “double,” but one that had been eating fewer snacks than Viktor had. Her name was Phoebe, and she weighed only 15 pounds. Her owners brought her to the airport and loaned her to Mikhail to take to the counter and claim she was Viktor. Once they completed check-in, Phoebe and her people left, and Mikhail and Viktor boarded the plane. Too late to get in trouble, he thought.

They would have pulled it off had Mikhail not bragged on social media. Now Aeroflot was also determined to find a way. The punishment was revocation of Mikhail’s 400,000 air miles. That makes it one expensive seat for the cat. That’s about $4,500 worth of miles, or 333,330.75 Russian rubles. A cat sitter would have been cheaper.

Linda: But when it’s the pet that’s supposed to babysit the owner, an abuse of the privilege can also be costly. 

Without arguing the legitimacy of emotional support animals, many which are lifesavers for people suffering disorders such as combat-induced PTSD, there are times when our fellow two-leggers fail us, and them. A flight from London to Austin was one such time. A planeload of people aboard a Norwegian Airlines airplane were delayed from departing for an hour and a half thanks to a couple of passengers with their “emotional support” French Bulldogs dressed in pink tutus. Ironically, as the dogs boarded, they became distressed. It was clear to the captain, who has the final say on the flight, that this was going to be a problem, so the tutus trotted right back off the plane, their humans with them, under captain’s orders. 

A line has to be drawn somewhere. After all, do you want to share a few intimate hours with a horse or a peacock, trapped together in a shiny metal tube rocketing through the atmosphere? 

On the other hand, Bob Jamison once made an effort to give emotional support to a nine-foot python, at the emotional expense of pilot David Rogers, to return it to its home in Belize, conveniently when Bob and friends planned a fishing trip down there. 

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