The Liberty Gazette
April 7, 2020
Ely Air LinesBy Mike Ely and Linda Street-Ely
Linda: A conversation topic among women who love to travel: “What is the strangest thing you've seen people do whilst traveling? Figured we could all use the laugh.”
Human nature being what it is, it should be no surprise that responses from around the world ranged from silly to unimaginable to disgusting. We’ll leave the abhorrent tales of humanity out, but the others are worth sharing, starting with a creative message on a sign held up by a panhandler: “Family kidnapped by ninjas. Need money for karate lessons to get them back. Anything helps.”
Did you know that yogurt may help give better relief from sunburn than aloe vera? True story. This German guy had covered himself in yogurt and when asked why, he said over there they do this all the time to cool off from a bad burn. Apparently, this is practiced in Russia, Poland, Croatia, Scotland and probably other places in between. They swear it works better than anything else.
But one that will leave you scratching your head is the lady in the Milan airport waiting for luggage. She pulled out her bright red lipstick, applied it in a normal fashion where it belongs, but then proceeded to apply it all over the outside of her ankles. We may have answers for the yogurt, but we haven’t yet figured out ankle-lipstick.
Driving a high-seated vehicle (even a dually will do), you get to see a lot of things, including some which you probably wish you hadn’t. A couple was spotted traveling the highways of northern Minnesota in the nude. Correction: she was sporting a road map.
And sometimes, you learn stuff. Like the gal in the middle seat on a long flight home from Germany did. She wondered why the man next to her had put tape over his mouth before going to sleep. Not Scotch tape, but serious tape. Apparently, he had read an article about it. Maybe this one. Learning is good, and right now we have plenty of time for that.
One novice hiker visiting the Grand Canyon was puzzled by the two guys she saw, each carrying two one-gallon plastic milk jugs. Milk still in them. She later learned from some hardcore hiking friends in Arizona that drinking milk before a big hike helps avoid dehydration. Seems the fat in the milk helps absorb and retain water. A new wrinkle in the brain when she discovered that trick.
Differences in culture are important, too. When one American woman visited a family in Morocco, they had given their guests very pretty paper napkins at dinner. After the meal, this lady, without thinking, crumpled up the used napkin. She later saw them uncrumpling it and learned that they hoped to be able to re-use napkins as long as practical. This was not a wealthy family. They lived in a remote location and were generous hosts just trying to get by.
In many poorer countries, it is not uncommon to see the lengths people will go to re-use an item for as long as possible. A group of friends traveling in Mexico stopped at a little house along the roadside to buy some Cokes. The drinks were in glass bottles. When the group asked for the Cokes “to go,” the vendor naturally poured the contents out of the bottles and into baggies, inserted a straw in each, and tied a twist-tie around them. Because the shopkeepers must pay for the Coke bottles, they don’t want those going out the door. Another couple learned this in Brazil when they assumed that they could order a Coke from a street vendor and started to walk off with the bottles. Much arm-waving ensued and eventually they understood they must surrender the valuable bottles and settle for drinking out of sandwich bags.
Of course, plastic baggies aren’t the only drink vessel. In Mexico, parts of Canada, and Australia, drinking beer out of one’s boots is completely normal. It’s called a “shoey.” Don’t kid yourself that these were new, clean boots. They were dirty, sweaty boots that had been worn all day. We hear it’s also popular among the whitewater rafting and kayaking community, where they call it a “bootie beer.” You’re supposed to down one from the boot if you swim a rapid.
One of the more bizarre behaviors reported was the couple yelling back and forth through a hotel hallway, trying to sort out a large group checking in with numerous pieces of luggage. Suddenly, they started barking. No joke. Barking like dogs. One man asked what on earth they were doing barking, and to everyone’s surprise, the couple admitted that’s how they communicated best!
For those who don’t travel much, these stories may seem unbelievable. But this is a true sampling of the world. One Finnish citizen who didn’t get out much was traveling on a local train and met a couple from California. This, to him, was amazing and exciting and brought forth images of the greatest western movies of all time. While he probably couldn’t name them, visions of John Wayne, Gary Cooper, Jimmy Stewart, and Lee Marvin danced in his head. These men of men moved him to show the Californians over and over again that he knew how to quick-draw a gun from his imaginary holster, because, of course, surely they still do that in the bear-filled, wild, wild west of California.
Maybe he doesn’t catch up often on the news while living up there in Finland. Or maybe he’s like the woman seen reading a book at an airport, who, as she finished each page, she would tear it out, crumple it up, and throw it away. Why? Because that way she never lost her spot.
I imagine if I’d been reading one of my Scottish history books I would have been as surprised as our friend Jody was when she disembarked from a transatlantic flight and saw a man ahead of her exiting the same airplane in full medieval armor. Jody said disappointingly that at no point during the 10-hour flight had she seen her knight in shining armor.
Then again, one could almost miss even Elvis. While staying at a hostel in Rome, one young lady saw an Elvis impersonator wheeling a suitcase down the corridor. The sight struck her fancy, so she sneaked a photo of him. To her surprise, she later learned that he was staying in the same hostel room and she was in the bunk above him. How many of you can say you slept above Elvis for a few days?
She may not have seen his show, but one might say she got her money’s worth. Which is pretty much all the Australian boyfriend was trying to do as his American girlfriend suffered a lengthy wait outside the restroom during their trip to Europe when he first discovered you have to pay for access.
For some well-traveled Gazette readers, the notion of paying for the privilege to potty in Europe is not new. However, this last story might be one no one here can claim as a shared experience. One traveler stuck in traffic, waiting for an accident to clear, watched a woman dance with and kiss a tree for ten minutes. She got to witness the whole relationship play out in front of her, including the demise, when the woman yelled at the tree, slapped it, and walked away.
We hope you’ve found this mini collection of unusual travel stories educational and amusing. We may, at some point share travel etiquette, because it really is important not to deny the person in the middle seat both armrests. That, and other stories.
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