The Liberty Gazette
November 14, 2023
Ely Air Lines
By Mike Ely and Linda Street-Ely
Every once in a while, usually at the busiest airports in the world, where time is of the essence, a pilot forgets to change frequency and inadvertently gives the passenger briefing over an airport’s ground or tower radio. This faux pas is met with teasing by controllers and fellow pilots who had to wait to get a word in.
After a combined 70 years of flying, we’ve heard a few comical things over the airwaves. We thought we’d compile some for you. Not that we personally heard all of these live at the time they were spoken, but they have been preserved for the audio pleasure of us all.
Coming in at number 4, a pilot in Toronto, after being given a frequency for Toronto Radio from air traffic control, questioned why he was being given that frequency. “Alright, do you wanna talk to a Center controller, or do you wanna talk to the radio? The radio people give you weather and stuff. The Center people keep you away from other airplanes.” Good call by the pilot: “I wanna be kept away from other airplanes!”
Amusing transmission number 3 goes a little retro. Taxing out for departure from JFK Airport, a pilot reports something on the runway that “looks like a beanbag chair.” This controller can’t help but laugh, adding, “Is there a lava lamp and a six pack out there too?” What could the pilot do but answer? “Absolutely. A disco ball as well.” The controller has the best answer: “Alright, let me get the Port Authority out there to party with it.”
At number 2, one can only imagine… “We’re picking up eh… some pretty heavy interference on the Tower frequency, sounds like a small child singing … Justin Bieber.” After the tower controller gives the pilot a heading for the approach, the pilot obviously felt the need to set the record straight. “Just like to point out that I’m not the one who identified the singer!” This controller had a sense of humor. “That’s your story? Are you gonna stick with it? Okay, I’ll try not to sing next time.”
And in this batch of pilot-controller exchanges that elicit a chuckle, number one has to do with the word, “awesome,” these days, an overused response. Apparently, there’s at least one air traffic controller who agrees. After approving the request from a pilot who wanted to land on the left runway instead of the parallel runway to the right at the Bedford, Massachusetts airport, the pilot giving that popular response, the controller had to ask. “Is it really that wonderful, ma’am?” Of course, the left runway was closer to where she was going to park the Airbus A320, but we’d have to side with the controller on this one. However, her gentle reminder to him to “Be happy,” seems to have warmed him at least a little. “You sound like you’re gonna make some guy very happy.” She didn’t miss a beat. “That’s why I’m tryin’ to get home!”
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